On living in Arizona:
-I love that it is the middle of January and we can be outside in sandals and short sleeve shirts.
-I miss living close to family.
On being a mom:
-How do you not love this?
-I stop loving it at about 3pm when she won't take a nap and I'm exhausted.
-I really stop loving it at about 5pm when she is super whiny and Troy won't be home from work for another hour or so.
-Should I really look forward to bed time with so much anticipation?
-Why do I feel so guilty putting a movie on? Am I just giving up on being a mom for a little while or is it okay to waste my child's brain so I can have a few moments of sanity?
On working:
-I know I just passed the bar and I'm trying to get set up to do estate planning, but is that really the best thing to be doing right before having a baby?
-I really want to put Erica in day care or preschool a few hours a week so I can have some time to work. Why do I feel guilty about that?
-Would working part-time really bring me satisfaction or do I just see it as a break from being a mom? Are those the same?
-What if I like working way more than I like being a mom?
On being pregnant:
-I am grateful to be pregnant, but I am so uncomfortable.
-Am I really ready to have a second kid in seven weeks?
-What if I really hate it?
-Am I going to get the house ready before she shows up?
On my spouse:
-Am I the only woman who feels like her husband has to work too much?
-I really shouldn't complain because he works less hours than most people I know. Then I just feel wimpy because I still complain.
-Why do I still want him to do things for me when he gets home, even though he's been gone for 10 hours and is sick? Why can't I be more self-sufficient?
-I wish I could hang out with him all day, every day.
And if you are just reading the picture captions, this is how I found Erica a few weeks ago after trying to get her to take a nap. Who knew a box of tissues could entertain her for an hour. At least I got to take a nap while she did this.
10 comments:
You will never love working more than being with your kids, it will just enhance the time you ARE with them, because mommy got to use her brain and act like a big girl!
Ok. So we really need to get together!
I loved this post. There is something comforting about the universal nature of mommy guilt. Why does it have to be that way? Well, at least we are all in it together. :)
On the working thing -- my mom enjoyed working more than being a stay at home mom. She loved us, of course. But it just didn't come as naturally as her gift for her work outside the home. I don't think the fact that motherhood is a calling from God means that it is supposed to come easy, or that it will be equally enjoyable to all women. If that were the case, then it would make sense that keeping all the commandments would be easy and enjoyable for everyone too, which, for most of us, isn't the case. I still think, as I think you do, that motherhood is worth the sacrifices it demands though. But that is probably all too serious for a blog post comment.
Anyway, I think it is great that you are finding a way to use your training and experience in law while you are workin' the mamma thing too. That you are pursuing it while putting the finishing touches on baby #2 speaks volumes on your passion for the work. So it seems like it is probably important for you to find a way to do both, right?
I LOVE the story and picture at the end. Hilarious! I can't believe how messy she made it.
I loved this. And it could have been ME writing it. At least know that you are NOT alone. I've had to have that reminder several times in the last few weeks! I'm glad you at least got to take a nap while Erica entertained herself with Kleenexes. :) At least it wasn't something worse, right? :)
I loved this post. And could ditto almost all of it! I'll be doing one soon. :)And7 weeks?! wow!!! You will be great and you WILL love having 2.Most of the time. ;);)
cute little erica
Hey Nancee, sounds like you have lots on your mind. I'm so excited for you guys and another cute little baby to add to the family. My only words of advice are that time goes by so quickly. I can't believe those no nap days and kleenex destruction are gone. I am a believer in the notion of "a season for everything." I'm sure you'll find the fulfillment and balance in whatever you choose. I think we all want to look back on motherhood with "no regrets" However, our ideas of what that means is so different. Hope you find some peace. Get a babysitter and go to the temple on your own one day. That always makes me find clarity. Love you!
Our theory = Happy mommy equals Happy Home!!! ;) Do what works for you! Love ya and good luck!!!
oh nancee, i hate to turn this into a comment about me, but i can relate to every single (without exception, honestly, except the az stuff and in that case it would be how i would feel about living there) thought that you have.
on tv: one time i put andrew (at age 2) in front of nemo so that i could get ahold of myself after a very frustrating morning. i realized that we had a much better time taking a needed break than me going crazy (screaming and tantruming--i am talking about me) and not watching nemo.
preschool: erika will love it. i felt guilty putting adnrew in school this week 3 dys/wk and it is just silly. we are all a lot better off this way. why do we feel like the hardest way is the only worthy way?
working: if working part time will rejuvenate you, do it. yeah, of course part of that is bc you are getting a break from a toddler. we all need that!
whatever it takes to help you stay happy and sane is the recipe for a successful home life. don't feel guilty!
ps a kid's bedtime is the best part of the day!
The tissue picture is like Raiden with wipes if I don't catch him in time. You won't hate having another baby. Pregnancy may suck, but once that baby is out you will feel better and be able to snuggle! I wish I could have another newborn to snuggle right now! (well, kinda) Don't feel guilty about pre-school. There's a difference between a few days a week and making pre-school their full-time "job"... you are a good mom and you'll be able to find a balance. I want to do the same thing with personal training when Rai is older. But he will be going to pre-school, anyway, so that will be my time to train if I am well. You can do the same!
I think on most of your thoughts, I feel the same way. Except for the whole being pregnant thing since I am not. :)
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